ProAnna

Theres so many things I can say about this topic. pretty heated at the moment because I know more than one person who is proana including myself. All I guess I'm wanting to say is that it sounds like a choice, but in reality its really not. Its like our version of depression,or anxiety. Just like someone depressed may skip their favorite activities,or somebody with anxiety may stay closed up, we avoid eating. It really hard. Its not a joke either. The calorie counting, the endless worry about my next excuse, the headaches I get, working myself to death in workouts with no supply. Its destroyed my mood. Its detroyed my image. I just want to ask yourself to vow to never skip meals, or feel bad about eating.  I've discovered I neeed it more than I thought. Feels like I'm dieing. Just dont do it. Loose weight the healthy way. Choose to be healthy and happy. 

For me, I always wanted to please my mom. We have always counted calories. We have always talked about was to eat less, and lose weight. Then, I left for awhile. I gained 60 pounds while I was gone from a change in diet and extra activities at school. I felt so guilty. I went back in forth between eating a pan of cookies,and barely eating anything. When I moved back home she helped me loose weight by detoxing me of suger,and carbs. I lost 20 punds from July to august. Then I jyust stopped. No matter how hard I worked out, two or three times a day, I couldn't loose anymore. Right before school ended we went on a trip to the beach. It was a great trip. I hated my body the whole time,but when I went to the beach was the worst. Mom took pictures,and I looked like a huge woman. So.....after school ended I started working out for hours again. Then I got stricter on my diet. I lost maybe two pounds. That was frustrating. Every since I've been cutting down how much I eat using every excuse I could think of. I no longer snack, and I used to eat healthy snack.  Now I barely eat at all. Just a couple hundred calories a day. 

Yesterday my mother told me that I like food way to much. That I just act like nits the best thing. She said I sound like a glutton. Aweful. That that was what big fat people sounded like. I was so upset I gagged on every bit of my super. The I ended up throwing it up. I got another headache last night. and it was than ive ever had. Kind of a wakeup call i guess. I'm so tired,sore and weak. I still really dont want to eat. Everything. Even ice cream. It alll looks absolutly disgusting. Even salad looks like fat. I dont know what to do......

please. For me. Love yourself.

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