How I see Myself

I feel, I feel like people only talk to me out of charity. Like they are walking up to special needs to give them a high five. They give me fake smile,and avoid me most of the time. 

My mother thinks I am anti social because I am a sociopath. I'm not. She thinks so and I creep her out. I feel like thats how I look to other people. One girl had told me that I looked like the kind of woman that would murder her husband. 

I feel like I look like these things, but i know the truth. I have anxiety, Bad. I have depression, reallBad. I'm just socially awkward because I really didn't grow up with people. 

I'm sure many people think they would not enjoy my presence. I'm sure I already make many people feel awkward. I'm a loving person though. I'm loyal. I'd give my life for anybody.  I long to know, and to be known. Am I really that bad? 

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Comments (5)

  1. Munkyman

    Probably not.

    April 10, 2017
  2. karmarose

    No I don’t think so. I am a chronically friendly (I am an extrovert) so I would strike up a conversation with you, maybe others are chronically friendly too? Not saying hi because of a need to be charitable but as a need to be friendly. I imagine it must be hard for an introverted person to socialize, as it is hard for me to not be friendly and shut my mouth. Maybe the “false smiles” are from people who know that conversation is hard for you so are showing friendliness in a silent way. Maybe not so fake but compassionate? I wish that your mom/and girl with the murderous comment would not have said that to you. You are okay we all have struggles.

    April 11, 2017
    1. zoemariemorgan

      thx, idk why but i wanted to cry when I read this. I don’t get alot of kind words.

      April 12, 2017
  3. karmarose

    Your welcome, people do need to be kinder we are all just doing the best that we can.

    April 14, 2017
    1. zoemariemorgan

      true

      April 15, 2017